Monday, October 20, 2008

Dummies guide to Wedlock(Martyrdom)

It would be one of those Million $,€,£ or Rs ( choose your currency) question on everyone’s life.when you hit late 20’s- When are you getting married? To save few of my near and dear ones from insomnia or may be to help them attain salvation- Here are my batting tips for tucking those rib-cage breakers.

1. You are getting older, don’t you know?

Oh! Aren’t you aware historians shortly releasing a new historical nomenclature know as "reverse-chronicles’’ where the counting would be done like those good old pre-historic days in B.C. So, Chill out, you can get only younger from now on. Of course, M’am’ I am aware I am getting old, I know that. Did I answer your question?

2. In few years down the lane no one would be ready to marry you as you would be bald and potbellied.

That’s interesting anecdote rather prophecy. I was of the view that today the only thing that recedes faster than UK home prices were my hairline! Thanks a ton! you have given me goose bumps. Is it still few years ahead? Gracious me !!!!!!

3. Are you alright, yaar ? Are you one of those……you know… extreme…liberal..with….?????

Don’t worry mate. I am absolutely fine. I am as “straight” as Sachin’s straight drive. It’s got nothing to do with my bachelorhood.

4. Is it because what you earn isn’t sufficient enough?

Hmm!! It’s true; I can’t afford a Ferrari or a Flat in Kensington, atleast for a year or two. If that is your yardstick then I haven’t filed for Bankruptcy either, I am still solvent.

5. Haven’t you come across a girl, who is single,interesting and intelligent?

You know it better. Don’t you. Hmm…..thinking…..did I?.....Forget it, Does it really matter ? Ok, to be honest with you, ISRO wants me to be their Astrogator, ASAP. I am starting my Lunar voyage to find that elusive E.T.

6. Why haven’t you married yet? Couldn’t you find one! You should have told me earlier. I am really distressed to see you like this. Ok.Tell me the specifications? Sorry requirements, I know quite a few who could be of perfect match as I know you better than anyone else.

Here you go. I bet that would be the last time you would ever hear from him. There is no easier way than this to weed out unsolicited sympathizers.

7. This one really is a Knock-out , mostly from Middle aged- How is your health, son? Do you know nowadays due to work pressure/tension guys suffer Stroke/Diabetes even in their 20’s ?

I really appreciate your concern M’am. My BMI Prime is exactly 1.0 with Muscular content 54% against required 42%.Will it suffice? Unfortunately, capitulation is the only way out . As the syndromes thrown out will even send shivers down the spine of Nobel Laureates in Medicine.

8. Come on Man, Why are you so pessimistic? Definitely some one will say ‘YES ‘ you don’t look that bad.

Hold on a second!. This is news to me. Only on recent past I felt I can give Andre Agassi and Leonardo Di Caprio run for their money.

9. I think you are over-confident? Do you reckon finding a partner is as easy as finding a job?

O.M.G.Really, I haven’t got a clue as I never tried it. Ask an Investment banker which is easy? If finding job is no-brainer vis-à-vis finding match- I am already trounced.

10. Have a long term perspective, When you are old who will look after you ?

Absolutely, you are spot-on my dear. By looking at the plight of aged at mushrooming old-age homes I simply can’t disagree.


Manohar said...

I'm confused after reading your blog whether to laugh, sympathize myself(married) or you (bachelor), or take it as a gospel words - man who knows better with his experience !!!!!

CV Arun said...

Mano, It's always greener on the other side. so enjoy maadi.

Jeppiree said...

Hello Arun, Like you always "Life is always not about enjoyment................."

Athukkaga NASA mela pali podatheenga.

Unknown said...

Onnume puriyala inda ulagathulla. I think, the above are dialalogues between you & yourself!!!!

You can try one line of your view & that would be helpful to understand.

Anyway, life is interesting in general irrespective of one's marital status..Rgs.Aniyanth

Balaji said...


Pavan said...

Hmmm... Sometimes I wish I should have waited to feel what you're trying to express but on the other hand someone said Yes the first attempt (darn it) Two sides of the coin. Suave sarcasm though

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Person with chronic disability on interpretation of life.However,optimism is my escape velocity.